Thursday's Thirsty Thoughts

by Jes

Not only are the Anaheim Ducks a better team than the one you cheer for, but
they are also stylin' and profilin' like GQ models. Somewhere, Earl Sleek is drooling over his Jack&Coke.

"I'm too sexy for my stick
too sexy for my stick
so sexy, it's sick"

But neither did the three dapper Ducks when event emcee and comedienne Cindy Burns asked them – "these hot, hot, hot guys," she called them – each to strike a pose.

Getzlaf turned to an audience of mostly women, some hooting with high pitches, and offered his best GQ-cover serious look before bursting out with laughter.

Giguere, who was introduced as "Gee-gahr," put his left foot forward, pushed back the tails on his dark Canali sportcoat, sunk his hands in pockets and vogued. (His fair cheeks turned pink as he probably was wishing he could just lower a goalie mask.)

Selanne, wearing a gray, herringbone Armani suit with a lavender shirt and handkerchief, happily played to the gallery's cat calls. When urged to model his apparel, the sly Selanne walked his fingers suggestively to his waist and – cue striptease music – raised a corner of his untucked shirt, exposing some torso for his wardrobe (mal)function.

I'd have to give the nod to Teemu over Getzlag and Jiggy. Giguere is a distant third with an ugly blue shirt that makes him look a bit chubby and unathletic, and Getzlaf looks way too much like a security guard or businessman clone.

(Hat-tip to JP at Japers Rink for the linkage)

So, Dion Phaneuf was strutting into a Starbucks to grab an overpriced non-fat latte when somebody took off with his gas-guzzling SUV.

Does anyone feel sorry for the prick? I didn't think so.

Note to Dion, try buying a vehicle that is a little kinder to the environment, k? Not that I'd normally advocate the theft of a motor vehicle, but it's not as if Dion can't afford a new shaggin' wagon with his fat new contract extension.

Yes, I was totally cheering for Dustin Head (nice name) to win a cool $1mil last night. Apparently, so was Peter Forsberg.

Check out the video highlights over at FanHouse.

More FanHouse goodness: Greg Wyshynski found a story about a naughty little scandal involving high school hockey players in Nova Scotia.

Apparently, the head coach allowed some rather cheeky little comments to be part of the players' bios. A mistake or on purpose? Who knows ...

One player's bio says he enjoys "some meat between his buns." Another's says he likes hunting and fishing and warns women that he shares his bed with a huge weapon.

A third player's write-up says he "could be coming into your mouth sooner than you think as he seeks a profession in dental hygenics (sic) in the near future."

Another bio refers to a player's desire to visit pop singer Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch.

And another caption says a player wants to become a motivational speaker for the hearing impaired.

Crude, but hilarious. I can't believe those write-ups were actually allowed to go through.

I just wonder what Greg was searching for when he came upon that story O.o

Wayne, our Southern Correspondent asks:

A stat change: Shouldn't there be a stat for players who take penalties and their team gives up a goal while they're in the box?

The problem with that kind of stat is that there would be far too much un/luck involved.

Say Jarkko Ruutu takes 60 minor penalties in a season, but his team does a great job on the PK, and lets in only 6 goals.

Compare that to a guy like Pavol Demitra, who takes 20 minor penalties. What if his team gives up 6 goals in those 20 PKs? Then, Pavol would look far worse than Ruutu, despite the fact he took 40 less penalties. Clearly, a player cannot control what his teammates do when he is not on the ice.

The best thing would be a +/- for penalties taken/drawn (not including off-setting, of course), so we could see just who puts their team at a man-disadvantage the most.