Summer Movie Musings

by Jes

Since there is a lack of interesting hockey news, I might as well do a little summer movie review. Why? Just because my brain is suddenly churning around thoughts about movies and I have no other outlet.

I invite you all to share your comments and recommendations.

Batman: The Dark Knight (9.5/10)

If you are one of the few people that hasn't seen it, then I can easily tell you that this movie definitely lives up to the hype. This is an incredible feat given how much attention this movie got after Heath Ledger kicked the bucket.

Yes, Ledger's performance is awesome, and even tops the great Joker that Jack Nicholson gave us. Lost in the hype machine is the fact that Aaron Eckhard gives a masterful performance as Harvey Dent/Two-Face.

My only beef with the movie is that we have no history/background of the Joker ... he just appears and creates chaos! It would have been nice to get some of the motivation behind his insanity.

Maggie Gylenhaal - To be shallow and blunt, this girl just looks weird. Definitely a big drop off from Katie Holmes in the looks department. Gylenhaal has this perpetual deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face, which makes me wonder how she got a career in Hollywood.

Hellboy 2 (8/10)

This summer's hidden gem is the least hyped and talked about superhero movies of the summer. The first Hellboy never got the recognition it deserves, and the sequel was just as entertaining.

Ron Perlman is one of the best, if not the best, actor-in-makeup/costume that I've grown up with. He plays the character beautifully.

The CGI creatures in this movie and the Troll Market are some of the most creative ... err ... creations that I've seen in a movie in quite some time. The 'tooth faeries' are brilliant, as is the giant nature elemental. I normally don't like too much CGI, but this movie does it so well that I didn't even think about it during the movie.

The downside? The relationship between Hellboy and his flaming girlfriend is really not explored enough, and the way the 'normal' people react to Hellboy is also just a little unreal.

Iron Man (7.5/10)

This was another enjoyable superhero movie that did a good job kick-starting another franchise. Downie Jr. is the perfect casting as Tony Stark, and Jeff Bridges made a fine villain.

This movie gives you a lot of laughs, which is not what most superhero movies do, and gives us a flawed character that is easy to like (unlike Batman, who is rather hard to like at times).

I just don't get why people are quite so gaga over this movie. It does lack a lot of action (we see way too much of Stark working on his suits), and the terrorists that Iron Man escapes from are way too dumb. You have to suspend belief just a little too much for my liking, especially since Iron Man tries to be quite realistic in its delivery.

Be Kind, Rewind (3/10)

This was a movie my g/f and I rented, and I was rather disappointed. The idea is a cute one (quite original) and there are quite a few chuckles, but there aren't nearly enough laughs and the characters in the movie are way too dumb to be believable.

Call it a concept that was good in theory, but poor in execution.

Superhero Movie (4/10)

Typical spoof movie. Lots of chuckles, too many fart jokes, but not enough jabs at the franchises outside of Spiderman. A decent rental if you want something brainless.

Young Triffie (0/10)

Ok, so I rented this some time back, but it was one of the worst pieces of vomit that I've ever let my eyeballs experience. I know it's Canadian and some people went gaga over it, but I'd suggest you never even consider watching this movie unless compensated in triple figures.

a. No captions, so my g/f couldn't watch it (a blessing in disguise)
b. The same "oops, the cop screws up" gags over and over and over again. Purely clumsy characters just aren't funny after the first couple of gags.
c. Mary Walsh, who is the female equivalent of Robin Williams (NOT FUNNY). She basically ruins any scene or show she is on. Everyone knows she was the weak link on 22 Minutes.
d. Slow ... like Molasses in July.

Futurama - The Beast With A Billion Backs (6/10)

Much weaker than Bender's Big Score, and one of Futurama's poorer efforts. I don't understand why so much production went into this movie when most Futurama episodes are better than this. A decent rental for Futurama fans, but not worth buying.

Bladerunner, The Final Cut (10/10)

OK, so this was about 99.9% similar to the Director's Cut I own, so it seems like a rather pointless remake. I did rent it to show it to my g/f, who *GASP* hadn't seen it.

Anyway, the non-narrated version (Which was the Theatre Cut) gets an easy 10/10. Amazingly, it hardly looks all that dated, even after 24 years.

The Penguins Turn to Satan

by Jes

For much of his early career, I referred to Miro Satan as "Zero" Satan, as that is about how much effort and emotion he displayed on a nightly basis. Satan just oozes talent and has puck-handling skills rivaled by few NHLers, but he's had a habit of not putting up as many points as I think he ought to be able to.

After settling in with the Buffalo Sabres, Miro finally seemed to 'get it' and turned into a dangerous player. His leadership qualities mutated almost out of nowhere, and he was a regular captain for the Slovak team at various events. It was a surprising, but welcome, development.

Unfortunately, during his last season with the Sabres, Satan was spurned for the Sabres' captaincy and started whining and playing his way out of Buffalo. Miro was clearly stung and couldn't handle not being the top dog in the pound. His play deteriorated and he was soon headed for Long Island.

Satan is clearly no longer one of the top threats in the NHL, and his production, and attention to defence, has really declined over the past few seasons.

Year Team GP G A Pts +/-
1995-96 EDM 62 18 17 35 0
1996-97 EDM 64 17 11 28 -4
1996-97 BUF 12 8 2 10 1
1997-98 BUF 79 22 24 46 2
1998-99 BUF 81 40 26 66 24
1999-00 BUF 81 33 34 67 16
2000-01 BUF 82 29 33 62 5
2001-02 BUF 82 37 36 73 14
2002-03 BUF 79 26 49 75 -3
2003-04 BUF 82 29 28 57 -15
2005-06 NYI 82 35 31 66 -8
2006-07 NYI 81 27 32 59 -12
2007-08 NYI 80 16 25 41 -11

I was rather surprised that the Penguins would sign Satan to a 1-year $3.5M deal, even if they need the depth at forward.

Given that Satan is going to be 34 years-old next season, and was never the fastest cat to boot, I guess a decline can be expected.

It's just that, well, Satan has reverted back to his ZERO ways and doesn't look like he's worth that much money or a roster spot on a good team.

Watching Satan play last season, the guy looked SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Oh, the slick puckhandling skills were evident, but the guy looked like he was skating on quicksand. A lack of effort, age-related slowdown, or both?

I just wonder which Satan will show up for the Pens. While he clearly isn't first line material, he ought to be good for 20 goals and 50 points with a talented Pens team. Clearly, this is likely his last shot to prove that he hasn't fallen off a cliff like Jozef Stumpel did last season. If Satan's puts up the same crappy numbers, he'll likely be playing in that KHL before too long.

---

Movie Rant:

Will Smith, the king of the summer blockbuster, has loads of talent ... and I know I'll sound like a douche for questioning the decision making of a guy who has made millions and will make millions more ... but it seems like he wastes himself playing in less-than-stellar films. This summer's Hancock, which I haven't seen, looks to be another dud.

Amazingly, choosing Wild Wild West over The Matrix didn't kill Smith's career, which speaks to his talent and power. It does show, however, that Smith often chooses the quick buck over making a quality movie.

Look at this list ...

1999 Wild Wild West - One of the worst movies ever made, and not in a 'good-bad' way, either.
2001 Ali - An Oscar nomination and a career saver.
2002 Men in Black II - AN unnecessary sequel and not very good
2003 Bad Boys II - Another unnecessary sequel
2004 I, Robot - Another terrible movie that may lead to another bad sequel
2005 Hitch - Zzzzzz
2006 The Pursuit of Happyness - A boring movie (I thought so), but one that was well received and actually known for its quality.
2007 I Am Legend - Very disappointing movie that was expected to be better
2008 Hancock - Doesn't look good

When Will Smith retires, is he simply going to be known for summer blockbusters and nothing else? Looking at that list, most of his movies are not memorable in the least, and even Independence Day, which was one of the biggest blockbusters of all time, has aged very poorly.

Coming to the Big Screen: Hockey's Robin Hood

by Jes

Julian Rubenstein's book, titled "The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber", was one of my favourite hockey-related reads of all time. Although hockey is not nearly the central theme of the book, the story of Attila Ambrus and his robbery escapades, combined with the region's history, interesting characters, and Hungary's introduction to Capitalism, was very enticing and engrossing.

Well, the story obviously caught the eye of Hollywood's Elite, and it appears that Ambrus' story will be made into a movie, starring Johnny Depp, as the Whiskey Robber.

Ambrus and Depp? Yeah, I can see the resemblance. I just wonder if Depp will try at all to have some kind of Hungarian accent. There is certainly no way in hell he'll ever learn the language.

Johnny Depp has signed up to play a Hungarian bankrobber in a new movie.

The film is based on the bizarre true story of a former ice-hockey goalie who turned to crime and became a folk hero in his native country thanks to his charm and gentlemanly conduct.

The 41-year-old Finding Neverland star will play Attila Ambrus in an adaptation of Julian Rubinstein's bestselling book The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber set in the 90s in post-communist Hungary.

Ambrus, a Transylvanian refugee, turned to robbing banks after failing at several jobs including gravedigger, pelt-smuggler, church painter and a pro-ice hockey player.

Despite robbing nearly 30 banks in six years, Ambrus, also known as the Whiskey Robber, became a folk hero inspiring songs and newspaper tributes.

He was always unfailingly polite to bank tellers, even bringing them roses, and thoughtfully left champagne for harassed police investigators.

Obviously, I'll be looking forward to this movie. Depp is a pretty damn good actor, and a fine choice to play the Attila Ambrus. It's quite a testament to the book that an A-list actor is quite happy to play the part.

Ambrus recently turned 40 behind bars (October 6th), and Rubenstein went to prison to visit and interview The Whiskey Robber. You can view the video over at YouTube.

For the short-form details of Ambrus' life, check out VakFan's post.

If you are interested in getting the book, check out this Amazon.com site.