A Little Wine And Cheese

by Jes

Mediot of the Day: Michael Platt.

If you happen to be cheering for the road team at any NHL arena, it's not the best idea to get all lippy and annoying (although that doesn't stop the large mobs of Leafs and Habs fans from doing so). Given how much alcohol is consumed at sporting events, and how alpha male jackoffs allow their emotions to control their actions, it's best just to exercise some restraint when cheering on your team in another team's barn.

Still, there is no excuse for what happened in Calgary, as a bunch of drunken Flames fans took to beating an Oilers fan for being a little 'loud'.

With a broken nose and fractured cheek, Andrew Parker has learned a painful lesson about what can happen if you mouth off to strangers after a few beers.

Parker says he was walking near 18 Ave. and 4 St. S.W. early Sunday morning, still wearing his Oilers jersey, when a group of men in a nearby car started glaring at him.

Seeing their Flames' sweaters, and with a half-dozen bottles of malted courage in his system, 22-year-old Parker did something he now regrets: He yelled at the glowering men, saying something like, "How about those Flames."

The men took exception, got out of their car and gave Parker a good kicking, to borrow a phrase often used in Britain.

Is THAT really worth a beating? I supposed he said something a bit nastier. Still, nothing like that ever deserves a cowardly mob beatdown.

What irks me about this whole thing is the apologetic writing of this Michael Platt character, who seems to remind me of that macho sports jock that talks tough, but got his ass kicked around a lot in high school.

Witness the following crap he writes. Keep in mind that this is a major newspaper, and not some fan blog or rinky-dinky free paper.

But Parker's beating at the hands of a few cowardly yobs shouldn't be a collective black eye for Calgary, nor should it be misconstrued as a case of hockey fans turned hooligans at the sight of another team's colours.

Make that "alleged" beating, because we only have Parker's side of the story, so far. Police are working on the rest.


Oh, since he's an Oilers fan, he must be lying. Right.

But Calgary shouldn't think for a minute we are in danger of borrowing the British motive for such violence -- namely, one group of sports fans targeting another, for no reason other than wearing the wrong colours.

Parker was not targeted simply for wearing an Oilers jersey.

The Oilers jersey got him noticed, but Parker's mouth got him into trouble.

O RLY? Do you think these men would have stopped the car, got out of the car, and administered said beating if the guy wasn't a noticeable Oilers fan wearing Oilers colours? Gimme a break.

So, dude spends the whole column defending Calgary for the actions of these thugs, and basically expects someone should expect a beating any time they show their team's colours.

Now, do I believe Calgary is a bad place to watch hockey simply because of this incident? No, there are 100s of other, more important, reasons to dislike Calgary.

Sheesh.

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The NHLPA, in a bid to make more money for its alumni, has come out with a series of wines with the likeness of legendary players. Hmm.

The NHL Alumni Association has rolled out a Signature Wine Series, a 12-bottle collection -- six Chardonnays, six Cabernet Sauvignons -- featuring the likeness of some of hockey's greatest players.

In Chicago, the two wines, produced by Ironstone Vineyards of Murphys, Calif., are Bobby Hull's "Golden Jet" 2007 Chardonnay and Tony Esposito's "Tony O" 2005 Cabernet. The wines are sold at Binny's and in the United Center's restaurants and suites.

Given Hull's problems with alcoholism, was it really wise to give him a wine to endorse?

I can imagine the Bobby Hull wine has a hell of a kick, and will get your seriously drunk. Best drunk in a big shot glass. Try not to fight with your children, afterwards.

Tony Esposito? A solid red wine, but you will be 'shut out' when the ladies see you drinking this.

How about a Phil Esposito wine? In remembrance of his tendency to take shifts that were 1-2 minutes too long, this hearty red wine has a serious long aftertaste that takes away from its delicious flavour.

Bobby Orr? A very limited edition white wine that is superior to all other wines, but very hard to find as it was only made for a brief period in the 70s. The red version from the late 70s is disgusting, and should have never been made.

How about a Ron DuGuay white wine? This is great for getting ladies drunk and loosened up. It worked on Cher!

Photo(s) of the Day: Hockey Ad Spam

by Jes

We all know that hockey is a sport that needs a great deal of marketing to grow itself in the US of A. Creating good ads, however is not always easy.

Here are a few examples of some very weird/bad/screwy attempts to promote the game.

Earlier this year, Greenspon Advertising Southeast created and executed an ad buy in men’s urinals throughout 50 bars and restaurants in Charlotte, N.C. promoting the ECHL hockey team, the Charlotte Checkers.

The campaign simply featured a Charlotte Checkers branded hockey puck in the urinal. That’s all. Nothing more.

The campaign got out of hand, however, and made its way into dirty hands when the hockey pucks started disappearing.

What the puck? Who the hell is so desperate for a puck that they'll dig it out of a urinal????








OK, so a griffin is eating Turkey? Isn't that a little cannibalistic?



A 'meh' ad for a poor hockey game. It might have worked if they showed a big hit or a fight. Instead, we get Dominik Hasek making a save. Uh-huh.





Not a good excuse to listen to Michael Bolton, despite that Earl Sleek might tell you.



Finally! Truth in advertising.



Not an actual ad, but a good way to entice players to sign with the Florida Panthers.

Anyway, a Happy Thanksgiving to our American friends. Stay away from the Bud Light and drink some real brew. I'm sure your area sells Czechvar or a real Slavic Pilsner.

Nike Gets the Hell Out of Hockey

by Jes

Ding dong, the bitch is dead!

As reported on by Eric over at The FanHouse a couple weeks back, and as touched on by Sportsnet today, Nike is getting out of the hockey business.

Hooray!

Swoosh. In onomatopoeic terms, that is the sound of sports biggest brand leaving hockey after 13 years of trying to be the choice for amateur and professional players.

In 1994, Nike bought Montreal's Canstar Sports, maker of the popular Bauer skates and other equipment, hockey was surging.

"I remember (Nike CEO) Phil Knight saying at the time that hockey was North America's fourth-most culturally-significant sport," said John Collins, a former senior executive in Nike's hockey division. "He wanted in."

Nike would wind up paying a frothy $395 million (U.S.) for Canstar, a 50 per cent premium above the level its shares were trading in prior months.

But as the popularity of rollerblades slipped, and several Nike skates were being returned due to awkward fitting, the company started to see the writing on the wall.

"The reality is hockey's a declining market in the U.S.," said Jim Rennie, a sporting goods expert.

The simple fact is, kiddies, that Nike is a MARKETING company, and not a sporting goods company. All of the products that bare the Nike logo are produced by non-Nike factories over in China and other parts of Asia. Why do you think Nike can get away with paying workers 10 cents an hour?

Anyway, ever since their unwelcome intrusion into hockey, Nike has faced a lot of criticism for lowering the quality of the product AND jacking up prices. Like they do for basketball, Nike simply signs up some big names, attached a swoosh to the product, makes it look 'stylish', and raise up the price 200%.

Remember how poorly Tiger Woods played while adjusting to Nike products? Nike entered into a product that they knew little about, and simply sold their stuff based on their name recognition. Nevermind that the products suck, it's all about the stupid logo. Anyone who actually buys a Nike product for something other than actual need should be smacked upside the head with a pair of $195 Air Jordan sneakers that have an actual material value of about 45 cents.

Declining market? Yeah, how many people are fed up with spending $400 on some poor-fitting skates? Hockey equipment companies focus so much on technical improvements, that the game is now out of reach for many people.

Growing up with a single mom, there was no way she could afford to shell out $1,000's per year on hockey. So, I had to play other, cheaper sports (rugby, basketball, soccer, etc). Nike was another cog in the machine that made hockey a niche sport for rich kids, and an investment in hockey equipment akin to buying a new car.

Unfortunately, Reebok is making many of the same mistakes Nike has. The new Reebok edge jerseys are a joke (and overpriced), and their equipment is certainly not cheap in price.

What Reebok does has going for them are a true committment to the game, the handsome Sidney Crosby, and good market saturation. While Nike treated hockey like just another stupid investment, Reebok has gone full-bore into the sport, right down from the junior ranks right up to the NHL.