Post-Vacation Viewings

by Jes

While on vacation, I was able to access some brief internet forays and day-old newspapers for a bit of NHL news. What I saw was the usual blend of GM madness, Canucks inaction, and Leafs stupidity.

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The Canucks have put all of their eggs in a cheap Ikea basket with their 2-year offer for Mats Sundin ... $20mil!! If it doesn't work, what is Plan B? I'm a bit nervous about any plan that relies on a guy to make up his mind and ultimately not choose the Canucks.

To those Canucks fans comparing Sundin to Messier: Shut the hell up!

Mats has nary the ego nor lack of drive that Messier had. Messier already had 6 cups, a history of big egoness, and no incentive to win. Sundin? He's still waiting to get his name on the cup.

That is why I think Sundin won't choose the Canucks. Yes, our GM is offering the most cash, but why would Sundin want to play for a mediocre team? If he wanted to do that, he could stay in Toronto.

Meanwhile, the Canucks signed 4th-line/PK specialist Ryan Johnson, because we never have enough of those ... but made up for that by trading 2 draft picks for Steve Bernier.


Remember how Bernier was a big up-and-comer for the San Jose Sharks? At one point, he appeared to be a solid 30-goal Power Forward in the making.

He didn't do much in San Jose, and I blame Ron Wilson's choking system for that. Just ask Patrick Marleau how hard it is to produce offense for that coach.

Bernier clearly needed a change of scenery, and we saw how he could produce during his short Sabres' tenure.

The Lightning are mighty busy, signing and trading with the intent of becoming instant contenders.

The problem? Their defense really sucks, and their goaltending duo isn't exactly solid like a rock.

The Lightning D thus far: Matt Carle, Filip Kuba, Shane O'Brien, Paul Ranger, Alex Picard, and Matt Smaby

Yeah ...

Speaking of the Lightning ... Olaf Kolzig?

This move surprised me for 2 reasons

1. Anyone who saw Kolzig play last season should clearly see that Godzilla is finished
2. Kolzig seemed intent of being a Cap-or-nothing.

I guess $ talks. In this case, it's saying stupid things.

Maid Marian Hossa signed a 1-year deal with the Wings for just over $7mil.

To Wings fans, you have to understand why the rest of us are very angry at this.

Simply put: The rich get richer.

When 29 other teams are trying to win the Cup, it pains us to see a star player take less money to play with the Wings. Imagine if a lot of players started doing this, and the top 4-6 teams were constantly able to lure star talent for 1-2 years for cup runs?

That said, I'm not gonna be like Skeletor Gallagher (I'm too lazy to link his crappy article) and rip on Hossa for what he did.

1. Who cares if Hossa's salary isn't $9-10 mil! Is the NHLPA really going to suffer? Mmm, try looking at some of the signings. Exactly.

2. Hossa has every frickin right to sign with whatever team he wants at whatever price he can get. So, he wants to forego some security and a couple of mil to play for the Wings ... he earned that right.

If I were Hossa, I might very well do the same thing. With the younger UFA age, players can afford to wait 1-2 years to capitalize on that one BIG contract.

Jagr to Russia ... well, this does surprise me.

1. Jagr's goofy sense of humour doesn't mesh well with serious Russians.
2. Russian hockey is extremely defensive and passive in nature. Why does Jagr want to play in a system that is opposite to his own style?

It must be the women.

Tuesday's Tight Thoughts

While the Nashville Predators gave the Wings some fits with their physical, grinding play, the finesse of the Colorado Avalanche and Dallas Stars has allowed Detroit to easily roll into the Stanley Cup Finals.

Yes, I know the Stars/Wings series is not officially over, but the Stars have as much chance for a comeback as Hilary Clinton. It ain't gonna happen, as we all know.

Wayne, our Southern Correspondent, charms in:

Could someone put the Stars-Wings series out of its misery? I tuned to a hockey game, and a soccer game broke out...The only thing missing was the voice of John Paul Della-Camera (the second greatest soccer announcer ever)...No wonder Wings fans are staying home...

In a topic I've covered before, Wings fans just aren't coming out to pack Joe Louis Arena. Combine a bad economy with a spoiled fanbase, and you get empty seats.

Wayne chips in again:

Take a look at things right now: $4/gallon gas, homes being forclosed, layoffs in the white-collar/middle-and-upper management sector (the people who buy season tix and luxury boxes), make MLB, the NBA, and the NHL (especially the NHL) particularly vulnerable...I don't think people are going to be willing to plunk down $60/ticket much longer, especially in soft markets. All NHL teams are going to have to take a good hard look at themselves...

Well, Detroit certainly isn't a 'soft' market, and the NHL is probably going to realize that American fans might have to cut expensive NHL tickets out of their budget as food and gas prices soar. It's rather troubling that 'Hockeytown' (self-billed, I know) can't sell out a Conference Finals playoff match.

At least the Flyers/Pens series is entertaining, if not entirely one-sided. The Flyers' are getting punished for taking penalties, and Martin Biron is not the answer to the question, "What goalie is going to take us to the Stanley Cup?"

Wednesday's Wackiness

by Jes

My girlfriend sent me this photo of the Toronto Maple Leafs defense, and it made my day. As Homer Simpson would proclaim, "It's funny, because it's true!"



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Meanwhile, the NHL grows a couple of hairy ones and comes down hard on Chris Simon with a 30-game suspension.

Hard enough? Hardly. Simon should have been gone for the season + playoffs. Now, if only the Isles would get rid of the thug once and for all ...

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Over at the FanHouse ...

Aaron Miller scores his first goal in FOUR years! Sightings of flying pigs around Vancouver up 300%

Last night's 5-0 win over New Jersey was quite the pleasure to watch. I always enjoy seeing Martin Brodeur lit up like a rich man's Christmas tree, especially when it's guys like Miller and Linden blasting pucks by the man with the golden horseshoe up his arse.

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Help us caption this photo of some ashamed Capitals fans. I know they don't have Crosby, but should Caps fans really be so afraid to show their faces in public?

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Speaking of Sidney Crosby, he's no match for the power of the Canadian dollar. Sorry, Sid, but you don't make my eBay purchases cheaper.

Tuesday's Thoughts: Flyers Goon it Up

span style="font-style: italic;">by Jes

After what happened between Flyers d-man Randy Jones and Bruins forward Patrice Bergeron, you'd figure that the Philadelphia Flyers might exercise a little caution in last night's rematch

But, as we know, the goonish mentality is alive and well in the City of Brotherly Love. (Hat tip to Mirtle for the video link)

Philadelphia's Scott Hartnell was given a five-minute boarding penalty and a game misconduct for hitting defenceman Andrew Alberts at 14:22 of the second period. Andrews left the game with an unspecified head injury and will be evaluated on Tuesday.

Boston's Zdeno Chara said that his team decided not to retaliate after Alberts was injured.

"It's something we talked about," Chara said. "We probably ended up with some bruises, but we have two points and that's the most important thing right now. It's up to the league to address things like that."

Hartnell said that the hit on Alberts was not deliberate.

"I did not try to hurt him," Hartnell explained. "There was no intent at all. I am not that type of player. If you look at all the games this year and past years, I finish my checks every time I have an opportunity."

Not deliberate? From the little highlight we do see (near the end), Hartnell was absolutely rocketing towards Alberts with the full intention of doing some damage. While I defended Jones' hit on Bergergon, I believe Hartnell's hit was fully intended to injure the Bruins' player, and a very lengthy suspension ought to be on the way.

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Other goodies over at the NHL FanHouse ...

1. We have a new contributor in Kevin Schultz (from Barry Melrose Rocks). His debit column is a beauty, as he gives Gary Bettman some tips on how to run his new radio show.

2. Imagine winning a hard-to-come-by Nintendo Wii, and then dying on the way to pick up your prize. Well, that's what happened to one poor kid at a Providence Bruins game. Greg Wyshynski has all the gory details.

3. Rome continues to burn as rumours surface that JFJ wanted to fire Paul Maurice, but couldn't. More Steve Simmons bullshit or the real deal? We report, YOU DECIDE!! Muhahaha

Knick-Knack Paddywhack

by Jes

OK, so you are asked to do a list of the top Toronto Maple Leafs players of all time.

Once you automatically eliminate Ken Klee and Peter Ing, you have a pretty daunting task ahead of you.

One player that should easily make the top 3, if not the Top 1, is Mats Sundin, only the most consistant and reliable player to ever play in the NHL.

Yet, some schmuck put together a survey, and Sundin ended OUT of the Top 10. HUH?

Dave Keon #1? You gotta be kiddin me.

One can quibble with where players are ranked in "Maple Leafs Top 100" but there's no knocking the technique used by Mike Leonetti.

He assembled a jury of 14 and gave each a ballot consisting of 140 players in alphabetical order covering the years 1927 through 2007. Write-ins were allowed. Each panelist came up with his own rankings during the summer and autumn of 2006 and results were finalized earlier this year. Points were allotted to each player corresponding to his ranking on each list.

When it was all computed, Dave Keon landed in the No. 1 position. Rounding out the top-12 were Ted Kennedy, Syl Apps, Frank Mahovlich, Darryl Sittler, Charlie Conacher, Johnny Bower, Tim Horton, Turk Broda, Borje Salming, Red Kelly and Mats Sundin.

"I'm happy with the product," says Leonetti. "A lot of work went into it.

Now, most of the panel appears to be all over the age of 92, which tells you why so many of the old players were favoured over the new bunch.

I recognize the greatness of some of these players in this list, but they do not hold a candle of what Mats Sundin has done in the NHL.

Whatever.

Wayne, our Southern correspondant, wonders aloud who might be the next coach of the Atlanta Thrashees:

Why hasn't anyone mentioned Jacques Demers? I was hoping he would have been the Thrashers' coach back when Curt Fraser was let go years ago? On the other hand, he might not be able to read the contract...(Imagine being illiterate in TWO languages...)

For all of us in Thrasher Nation, we should all be grateful that Psycho Mike Keenan already has a job, or else he'd be pushing his name in the hat...

I know, for a fact, that Jacques Demers is out and about the country (Canada) promoting literacy. Remember, he was functionally illiterate during his coaching days, and held that secret until just recently. I don't know if he's really thinking about going back to the NHL right about now.

Other candidates?

Pat Quinn - He might be old, but he's an offensive-loving guy and could rip out your throat. He seems well-liked by his player, and will be a lot less whiny without that TO spotlight shining so brightly on him.

Mike Kitchen - No.

Mike Milbury - That would be funny.

Honestly, until Don Waddell is out as GM, this club is just going to continue to tread water and barely survive.

Waddell is in his sixth season as GM of the Thrashers, and they made the playoffs only once, thanks to some desperate trading and giving away of big assets. The club cannot stop opponents from scoring, and its top stars have all sorts of warts.

He's no Doug MacLean, but Waddell isn't exactly Brian Burke, either.
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Today is the 50th anniversity of Maurice "Rocket" Richard's 500th career NHL goal.

You just know that Joe Pelletier has a hella lot of coverage and stuff to show you about it over at The Legends of Hockey.

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Wednesday's Wacky Whisperings

by Jes

Just a bunch of ran-dumb thoughts to empty out of my head

After starting the season off with a bang (2 assists in his debut), Jaroslav Hlinka has hit the wall and hasn't had a single point in his last 5 games and also is -2. Hmm ... Greg or another Avs fan will have to let me know why he's done nothing since the opener.

Paul Stastny is on pace for 177 points. W00t!

Miroslav Satan: 1 assist and -3 in 6 games. WTF, eh?

Dustin Penner: 1 goal and 1 assist in 6 games. Money well spent.

The LA KINGS are in some kind of trouble, having given up 28 goals in 7 games!! Sheesh, it makes you wonder if Dan Cloutier is available for a call up. Only 2 players on the roster have a positive +/-

Rob Blake: Thou art done, son. D00d might have had 34 points last year, but he was noticeably slow and finished with an awful -26. This season, he's a league worst -9 in 7 games and isn't doing much offensively. The Kings were dumb to give him such a large contract, and now he's a big 'anchor', and not the good kind.

Oh, and how much longer will Marc Crawford be coaching? D00d was awful in his last season with the Canucks, and hasn't looked good with the Kings. Perhaps it is time to go back to the broadcast booth, where he'd be welcome with open arms.

How in the hell are the Blackhawks 3-2? Well, check out their goaltending stats... 1.79GAA and 93.4SV%. The Hawks have scored only 9 goals in 5 games, so the good times won't last.

How does the high-powered, expensive Rangers lineup have just 10 goals in 5 games? Well, I wonder if we are seeing a return of the all-talent, no-chemistry Rangers of old. Sign a bunch of expensive stars and watch them fizzle? We shall see...

Typical bad coaching: The Canadiens get a 1-0 lead against the Panthers last night THREE MINUTE into the frickin game. What do they do? They sit back and defend, defend, defend. It serves them right that the Panthers tied it with 10 seconds to go, and then smoked them in the shootout.

I'll never get why teams sit back so much, especially on a one-goal lead, when they are ahead. Keep doing what got you the lead, and apply pressure!! The best defence is a good offence, IMO.

The Atlanta Thrashees are now 0-6 and the Bob Hartley Death Watch continues. Honestly, I don't see why Don Waddell, their GM, isn't also on the firing line. He's been with the team since its inception, and they haven't done much of anything under his tenure. Sure, they made the playoffs last year, but they were swept away like a dust ball. Dealing a huge chunk of assets for a couple of rentals (like Tkachuk) indicates short-term thinking gone bad.

The Flyers are back ... ugh. It's easy, once again, to despise this team for their thuggish behaviour, awful uniforms, and just overall assholeness. It was hard to hate them last year when they were so pitiful. Now? It's like old times.

Oh, and "Danny" Briere? WTF? Since when did he change his first name? Really, Daniel (pronounced Danielle) really fit him so well. Danny is just so lame. Did the flyers marketing department just deem Daniel to be too wimpy? Kind of like how Bobby Clarke became Bob Clarke (Although everyone still calls him Bobby)?

Carolina always had the offence, but lacked the goaltending. It's nice to see Cam Ward finally put together a nice streak. He's started the season with this line, which makes you think he's finally arrived for a regular season: 1.79GAA and a 94.2SV%. Nice!

Canucks: The Mutterings

by Jes

Now, you wouldn't expect a defence that looks like ...

Ohlund-Mitchell
Salo-Bieksa
Miller-Krajicek
Edler-Bourdon

... would need a whole lot of help.

Well, the Canucks signed Dan McGillis (remember him?) to a try-out contract to further bolster their corps.

While this might seem like overkill, it's actually a good move considering Sami Salo injured his wrist (no shock) and Mitchell's groin is still wonky. The Canucks will need a good re-inforcement or two and McGillis is that kinda guy.

It's kinda strange how far McGillis has fallen, and now needs a try-out to get back to the NHL.

Thanks to Fat Lou's cap dodging theatrics, McGillis was demoted to the AHL Albany Rats for the past few seasons. McGillis put up 66 points in 108 games, and earned a lot of money to live the minor-league life.

Even at 35, you'd still have to think McGillis could be a useful cog, especially as a fill-in defenseman. He's nasty, he's got a good shot, and he's experienced.

Speaking of defence, the smart money is on the rapidly-improving Alex Edler to earn a full-time spot and Luc Bourdon to go back to the AHL.

It wasn't so long ago that Bourdon was dominating the WJCs here in Vancouver, and was one the world's top prospects. Now? Notsomuch.

Given his struggles in his brief NHL tenure last season, and in this preseason, and you've got a prospect who needs at least a seasoning in the minors. Hopefully, he'll regain his confidence ... he's making ME nervous.

Let's cut down the hype about prospect Mason Raymond. For a guy who had a whopping 4 points in his 11 game AHL debut last season, there is way too much talk about how awesome of a prospect this guy is.

Look, the Canucks have a fairly deep (albeit not impressive) forward corps, and don't have a lot of room for any prospects. Raymond has a lot of developing to do, and a few hot preseason games mean little. I mean, Jon Sim would be a star if preseason meant anything (For those who don't know, this guy has about 72 points in 30 preseason games...or something similar).

Given how some of the media, and even his teammates, gush about the guy, you'd think he's gonna put up 30 goals this season, and win the freakin' Calder Trophy.

It's great to see Ryan "Boy Band" Kesler doing well in the preseason with some offence (2 points last night, if I'm not mistaken), but it means nothing if he can't do more during the regular season.

I realize that he'll never live up to that contract that the Flyers somewhat-forced the Canucks to give him, so let's not expect the guy to put up 40 assists this season. Hell, I'd be pleased with 40 points!

The Canucks media are so anxious for him to succeed and justify the expense that they'll drool over every preseason point.

Wake me when the season starts! Preseason sucks.

Monday Morning Musings

by Jes
Good looking, famous, and dumber than a sack of potatoes. This is an apt description for the couple that is one Mike Modano and one Willa Ford.

Yes, the NHL's Pretty Boy and bimbo 'actress'got married in a private ceremony.

If these two ever have kids, you can expect some good looking tykes who will have trouble tying their own shoelaces. Basically, Paris Hilton clones. I wonder if their kids will have enough IQ points to breath without mechanical assistance.

Read more gag-inducing details over at the NHL FanHouse.
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Jan Bulis has a much better car than you will ever hope to have. See?



August 27th, and still nobody has signed the guy? WTF?? Poor Alanah is being driven to drink. Greg even went to London to escape the pain.

Hat tip to Vakfan, who has his own English-language blog that gives us North Amerikaners a nice look at the hockey goings-on in Czechia.

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It turns out that the Flyers are joining the growing list of teams that are moving their goal judges to far-away lands. Instead of just firing the guy, they move up him to the press box.

What the hell is the point? Just scrap the position and wake up to the 21st Century.

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Over at Taking One For The Team, a few of us bloggers took part in the Salary Cap Challenge.

The premise is simple: Make a team of any 20 players that you want, so long as you fit under the $42mil salary cap set.

You can go and see my team, which is very well balanced and has enough Slovak to kick some ass. I ensured to take Samuel Pahlsson "Is God" and other defensive specialists, so my team can beat you in just about every way other than fighting.

Marian Gaborik (6.5) - Sidney Crosby (0.85) - Pavol Demitra (4.5)
Cory Stillman (1.75) - Evgeni Malkin (0.984) - Justin Williams (3.5)
Jere Lehtinen (3.9) - Jordan Staal (0.85) - Corey Perry (0.494)
Jay Pandolfo (0.836) - Sami Pahlsson (1.4) - Branko Radivojevic (0.68)
Kevin Bieksa (0.55) - Francois Beauchemin (1.65)
Dion Phaneuf (0.942) - Lubomir Visnovsky (2.052)
Jaroslav Modry (1.2) - Mike Commodore (1.3)
Roberto Luongo (6.75)
Chris Mason (1.25)

Total Cap Space Spent = $41.938
Cap Space Remaining = $3.062


Most chose guys like Marc Savard for their fourth line, not realizing what a poor fit that would be in terms of playing style, chemistry, and personalities. Put a guy like Savard on the fourth line, and expect to have a pouty poopypants who is unable to stop opposing scoring stars from, uhh, scoring.

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And, lastly, I'd like to thank my Sidney Crosby blogger/partner-in-crime, snoopyjode (Jodie), for creating the new sidebar that you see on the left. Thanks to her, the links are much more organized for all to use. There are many excellent hockey blogs out there, so be sure to check them out.