Monday Morning Musings

I know I haven't given Dallas any credit this post-season, and they continue to win and win and win against good teams. I never expected their passive-Eurochoke style would work against the physical beasts like San Jose and Anaheim, yet the Stars are just 2 wins away from facing the Red Wings in the Conference final (As if Colorado has a chance)

I always felt Detroit could be exploited by either Anaheim or San Jose, but they might get lucky and not have to face the two teams that would likely give them the most trouble. If that is the case, their Stanley Cup chances look pretty damn good.

---

Don't cry for Sean Avery once his Ranger$ get knocked out by the Pens (not that I'd expect you to), because he has a great summer job lined up!

Meet Sean Avery, Fashion Intern.

Avery, who makes $2 million a year with the Rangers and has cavorted with starlets since his days with the Los Angeles Kings, initiated the contact with Vogue editor Anna Wintour. "He is ridiculously obsessed with fashion," Avery's publicist Nicole Chabot told ABCNews.com. "He loves it more than anything in the world. It's something he has always wanted to do."

Chabot admits Avery is an agitator in the "old-style" of hockey and a "blabber mouth," but off ice the player is "surprisingly articulate, creative and savvy," she said. He's also charming, she noted. "There is not a woman that doesn't fall in love with him in five minutes."

Just the perfect profession for a self-centered shallow guy like Avery. Ridiculously obsessed with fashion? Apparently, that doesn't count for the unfashionable moronic comments that come out of his mouth.

---

Ritch, The American Hockey Fan, has decided to mimic the teams he cheers for, and has become the American Golf Fan. WTF?

So, after some soul searching (and some head-scratching) we've decided to unveil the exciting new format you see in the header above. So keep us bookmarked, America - don't forget to check in for our thoughts on the Players Championship, the U.S. Open, and the John Deere Classic, as well as Ritch's special series on whether this Tiger Woods kid is the real deal.

That's right, it's American Golf Fan all summer long...or at least until we break down and tune back in to the playoffs. Or, failing that, September, when we start our annual complaining about whether or not pre-season hockey is worth watching.

How about discussion on whether Payne Stewart-type high socks will be the new IN trend this summer?

I will never understand how anyone can actually enjoy WATCHING Golf on TV. My gramma loves the stuff, and, as much as I've tried, I can't get one iota of joy out of watching a bunch of rich white assholes (and the token black guys Tiger and Vijay) whack a tiny ball into a tiny hole 400 yards away.

(Carlin Mode) No matter which way you slice it, golf is an elitist game that takes up far too much good land for the sole purpose of providing wealthy assholes a forum to discuss business deals that divide up the country between the wealthiest citizens. Bomb the golf courses and turn them into low-cost housing. Oh, and bomb Yaletown, too. And Coal Harbour. What a Yuppie-generic waste of space that place is.

---

Photo of the Day: A crafty and witty Flyers fan (as witty as they can get, really) came up with this t-shirt for the Flyers/Caps series. Despite the total mispronunciation of Semin's surname, the shirt still works.


Talking to Earl Sleek (Battle of California fame), he wasn't all that impressed.

I'll never be impressed by player-name-slogans. Not since the 90s, when some anti-Buffalo fan had a sign that said: "HASEK, YOU SMEHLIK LIKE ZHITNIK".

As far as I'm concerned, that's the be-all, end-all to name manipulation.