Thursday's Tepid Tantrums

As most people know, the NY Daily News, a tabloid known for misinformation and sensationalism, screwed the pooch reporting Sean Avery as having Cardiac Arrest when he really just had a ruptured spleen.

In the rush to get the 'scoop', the tabloid sensationalized the story, and went with the first bit of 'knowledge' they had, rather than do some further investigating.

What is even funnier than the sloppy cover-up attempts is the fact that the 'reporter', John Dellapina, is fighting back and claiming some mass conspiracy.

Finally, for all those from other media outlets and newspapers who have sarcastically dismissed our initial web story about Sean Avery's hospitalization since the Rangers refuted it Wednesday afternoon, I wonder:

Was your initial reaction that the story couldn't have been correct or did you simply race up to the MSG Training Center to get player reaction? And, did you call the hospital and/or Avery's representatives to get the real story or did your "reporting" simply consist of taking the team's word for what happened?

Fortunately, the intrepid men an women of the press who have exposed baseball's steroid problems didn't similarly regurgitate what they were told by people who understandably want their businesses viewed as beyond reproach.

So, is there a mass cover-up by the Rangers and other media outlets? Did Avery really have a heart attack, and the team wants us to think otherwise? Not bloody likely.

Dellapina would have us believe that the rest of the media is doing sloppy reporting, and he had the real story, in a lame attempt to cover his ass. Yes, how dare other media outlets try to get the real story, after the NY Daily News made some serious claims about Avery's health.

It won't work, stupid!

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Wayne's World!!

Our Southern Correspondent shares some thoughts.

First, I heard the news about Sean Avery about I left this library...It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy; I'd like to see him on a slab on "CSI: New York"...Now on to the other stuff:

Montreal has a player named Francis Bouillon; if he played baseball, his teammates would call him "Soupy"...

What is that song that they play over the PA system in the Walk-over-ya Center whenever the Flyers score a goal? I remember it being played last year at Anaheim as well...Sure beats the hell out of Zombie Nation or Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll, Part 2" (which should be buried once in for all in the desert outside Las Vegas, never to return)...

Darren Eliot, please STFU: You are the reason I turn down Thrasher telecasts to listen to Jeff Odgers and My Favorite Kamalian on the radio, and now you're boring people to tears on Versus...On the other hand, being boring and charisma-impaired may be a job-requirement at that channel (just look who they have doing the studio show)...

I knew the San Jose-Dallas game was gonna be a low-scoring snoozefest, so I warmed-up for the game by watching the UEFA cup game between Chelsea and Liverpool...was out cold before the end of the first half...

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Some banter between us FanHouse boys, and the realization that this could be THE END for many NHL legends.

From JP of Japers Rink

Don't know if anyone wants to make mention of it, but tonight could be the last chance fans get to watch the two active all-time points leaders - Sakic and Jagr - play (at least in the NHL).

3228 points, 4 Cups, 5 Ross Trophies, 2 Harts, 22 All-Star games, 2 Olympic Golds, etc., etc.

Throw Forsberg into the mix and the combined stats are even more ridiculous.

Don't forget about Jeremy Roenick and Brendan Shanahan. If this was the end for all of them, we'd be losing the 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 17th active all-time scoring leaders. Catch them while you can.

Sean Avery: YOU GONE!

Some strange breaking news this morning as Sean Avery, our 'favourite' son of a bitch, will be out for the remainder of the season with a broken spleen.

As JP (Japers Rink) remarked, one wonders why it took THIS long for Martin Brodeur to get out his Avery voodoo doll.

Sean Avery has a lacerated spleen and will be out for the remainder of the season.

The laceration was detected with a CT scan after Avery was taken to hospital directly following Game 3 with the Penguins.

"He's stable and everything is going to be okay," a team source told TSN.

Avery suffered the injury during Game 3 but the Rangers are unsure of exactly when it occurred. The winger's pain got continuously worse during the game and became more of an issue when play concluded. Team doctor, Dr. Andrew Feldman, suspected Avery had suffered an injury to his spleen and the pair were driven to hospital. Avery entered the hospital under his own power.

Now, I'm not going to be one of those patsy types who is going to feel sorry for Avery. Yes, I know the PC thing to do is to say, "Well, no matter how much of an asshole he is, I'd never wish this upon him."

To that, I say you are full of shit. Call this Karmic justice, or just desserts, because Avery is certainly the type of fellow that could use this type of humbling. Given how much of a shallow ass Avery really is, I'm not feeling one ounce of sympathy for him.

When Forsberg had a similar spleen accident, I actually did feel for him in some manner. As much as I dislike Forsberg's diving antics and hate him for killing the Canucks again and again, I can respect him as an individual and admire him for his courage and tenacity. With Avery, I feel none of that. He's an asshole, plain and simple.

Now, another twist to this story is the tabloid NY Daily News and their coverage of this incident.

At one point, they claimed Avery was not breathing (!), and then, as the morning progressed, kept changing their story as the REAL details flowed in. As per TSN's story, Avery arrived under his own power, and was not about to die, as the NY Daily News might want you to believe.

This screenshot was captured by FanHouse's Matt Saler. Interesting ...

Sean Avery: YOU GONE!

Some strange breaking news this morning as Sean Avery, our 'favourite' son of a bitch, will be out for the remainder of the season with a broken spleen.

As JP (Japers Rink) remarked, one wonders why it took THIS long for Martin Brodeur to get out his Avery voodoo doll.

Sean Avery has a lacerated spleen and will be out for the remainder of the season.

The laceration was detected with a CT scan after Avery was taken to hospital directly following Game 3 with the Penguins.

"He's stable and everything is going to be okay," a team source told TSN.

Avery suffered the injury during Game 3 but the Rangers are unsure of exactly when it occurred. The winger's pain got continuously worse during the game and became more of an issue when play concluded. Team doctor, Dr. Andrew Feldman, suspected Avery had suffered an injury to his spleen and the pair were driven to hospital. Avery entered the hospital under his own power.

Now, I'm not going to be one of those patsy types who is going to feel sorry for Avery. Yes, I know the PC thing to do is to say, "Well, no matter how much of an asshole he is, I'd never wish this upon him."

To that, I say you are full of shit. Call this Karmic justice, or just desserts, because Avery is certainly the type of fellow that could use this type of humbling. Given how much of a shallow ass Avery really is, I'm not feeling one ounce of sympathy for him.

When Forsberg had a similar spleen accident, I actually did feel for him in some manner. As much as I dislike Forsberg's diving antics and hate him for killing the Canucks again and again, I can respect him as an individual and admire him for his courage and tenacity. With Avery, I feel none of that. He's an asshole, plain and simple.

Now, another twist to this story is the tabloid NY Daily News and their coverage of this incident.

At one point, they claimed Avery was not breathing (!), and then, as the morning progressed, kept changing their story as the REAL details flowed in. As per TSN's story, Avery arrived under his own power, and was not about to die, as the NY Daily News might want you to believe.

This screenshot was captured by FanHouse's Matt Saler. Interesting ...

Sidney Crosby: His Crap Works!

by Jes

It's rather well known to my 5-6 readers that Sean Avery is one of my least-favourite players. It's one thing to be a pest, but it's another to be an annoying douchebag with few redeeming qualities. I would NOT want to be a teammate of Sean Avery, no matter how many goals he might score when he puts his mind to it.

That said, I have to respect the fact that he absolutely rocked the New Jersey Devils with his motor-mouth and some big goals. I didn't think the Rangers could beat the Devils, but combine Avery's pestiness with Brodeur's craptastic netminding, and you had the round's first upset.

The only way a bitch like Avery can win is if you acknowledge his presence and let him 'win' the verbal battles. Ignore him, and he'll grow bored once he realizes that you aren't going to play that way.

The New Jersey Devils, especially coach Sutter and Brodeur, were so fixiated on what Avery was doing that they were both extremely off of their games. Brodeur should have been much better than he was, but he was obviously flustered and too hot-headed to make the saves he needed to make.

Per Straight Up Sports:

Avery won the battle. He got the entire Devil team chasing him and going after him; leaving the likes of Jagr, Gomez, Henrik to do their thing. Even more irritating, Sean Avery had 3 goals and 2 assists in a series where he got the high holy hell kicked out of him. Not once did he retaliate, not once did he spear Brodeur BACK after one of several times Brodeur slashed and prodded him. The Devils, a lot like the Thrashers last year, seemed a lot more concerned with crosschecking, punching, and disgustingly, horse collaring people as opposed to actually playing hockey, and it cost them. I don't think this can be in dispute. Anyway, back to Avery.

He reads Vogue magazine. He goes to fashion shows. He paints his finger nails. He wears lame hats. He walks around like a hard ass. He spends $300 on t shirts. I'd bet I'll see him at Tonic East on Saturday Night wearing a pink popped collar shirt once the season ends. He probably cuts off little old ladies flying down the Henry Hudson in his convertible. He typifies everything there is to hate about the stereotypical New Yorker.

Yes, Avery took 3 minor penalties in the series, but that's about par for the course when he's around. He didn't get into any fights, and was generally good at not putting the Rangers shorthanded TOO often.

The Rangers next opponent would be wise to see just how much trouble Avery caused the Devils, and learn to ignore his wisecracks. Yes, it can be hard to resist slapping the shit-eating grin off Sean's stubbly face, but it has to be done.

The more Avery succeeds at getting under your skin, the more he'll crank up the volume of crap he spews out of his sewer mouth.

So, I will give props to Avery for disrupting the usually unflappable Devils so well, but I still want him to paralyzed by an anvil dropped by Wile E. Coyote.

Sean Avery: Rejected!

by Jes

Despite the fact that Sean Avery seems to score a lot of celebrity ass, it appears that his fame and name recognition doesn't go as far as the yappy winger seems to think it does.

From the New York Daily News, we get the real scoop ...

The New York Rangers celebrated their 5-2 victory over the Ottawa Senators Saturday night at Bungalow 8, where injured forward Sean Avery showed up with a sling on one hand and black nail polish on the other. The Blueshirts had originally hit up Buddha Bar but were denied entrance.

"F- this place! We're never coming here again!" screamed the Rangers' flack when the bouncer said he didn't know or care who the hometown heroes were. Guess he's an Isles fan!

... or, perhaps the bouncer did know who Sean Avery was, and wanted to deliver a nice blow to Sean's massive ego. OH!

and black nail polish? Has he been letting Mary-Kate paint his fingernails?

Oh, the rest of the NHL has so much good stuff to use against Avery the next time the little bitch starts flapping his gums.

Sean Avery is Sexy?

by Jes

People Magazine, that fine purveyor of celebrity crap, has decided that Sean Avery is one of North America's sexiest males.




Given that Avery has shagged his fair share of celebrity ass, it's hard to argue against him having some sort of charm with the ladies. I mean, it's not as if he's Mike Ricci or Mike Rathje.

Still... sexy? Ugh... I guess if you like bad boys who never shut up.

Sean Avery Bags Mary-Kate Olsen?

by Jes

From the "Gag me with a spoon" file comes rumours that Mary-Kate Olsen is getting jiggy with Sean Avery. My FanHouse cohort, Greg Wyshynski, who spends about 6 hours a day on celebrity gossip websites, forwarded me the 'good news'

*barf*

From TMZ.com (If it's there, it MUST be true!):

Avery, who was previously linked to Elisha Cuthbert and rumored to be the other man in JT's "What Comes Around Goes Around," has been seen squiring MK all over the Big Apple.

He shoots, he scores!

I know I'm not the only guy who once fantasized about the time when the Olsen twins would be legal (not that we have a chance or anything), but then they stopped eating, started smoking, and just generally started to look ghoulish.